By Barbie Sutton, LPC, LAC, EMDR, Clinical Supervisor, The Recovery Cooperative*
I have had the privilege of working with clients who have served in our Armed Forces. One client holds a very special place in my heart:
A 55-year-old Army veteran with a long history of trauma stretching back to childhood, they struggled with immense feelings of worthlessness and shame. Moreover, their gender identity and sexual orientation led to experiences of significant harassment and abuse during their time in the Army. They came to regard their military history in a negative light, unable to feel pride in their service and plagued by the pain intertwined with their identity as a soldier. I have no training or specialization in military issues, and at first I felt unprepared to support them.
A large part of this client’s journey in healing was harnessing their courage and developing the distress tolerance skills to go through old boxes of documents from different periods in their life. One of the most notable boxes included papers from their service: their Official Military Personnel File (OMPF), DD214 (discharge documents), medical evaluations, and scores of other records and correspondence. Taking up space in their home, for the client these boxes were physical representations of the “baggage” they so desperately wanted to be free of.
It took patience, perseverance, and an endless supply of their trademark self-deprecating humor. At times, I felt all I could offer was an unwavering confidence in their innate ability to drive their own healing process and reassurance that they were not inherently flawed. Eventually, they got through these literal pages of their past to begin reconciling essential parts of their identity that had previously been at odds. There may also have been some not-so-evidence-based pyro-therapy involved. The relief they felt after emptying that box and seeing the past with new eyes still rings loudly in my heart today.
It is said that the strength of a nation lies in the well-being of its soldiers, and while I believe many facets contribute to a healthy society, how we care for our veterans is perhaps one of the most telling. This client’s determination to reclaim their story, reclaim their identity, and reclaim their military history continues to serve as a compelling reminder that we don’t always need special training to help someone. Sometimes, the most important thing we can do is show up and simply be there…and perhaps give them permission to light a few things on fire in the name of healing.
*The Recovery Cooperative offers a unique and modern Intensive Outpatient Program, primarily consisting of group treatment, individual sessions, and family and couples therapy. Case management is also provided to ensure our clients get the necessary wraparound services. Treatment is both trauma-informed and evidence-based. These services are also available individually on an outpatient basis and provided in an inviting, shame-free environment.
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